Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Tick tock, tick tock
I was supposed to leave for Korea on Friday of last week, but I didn't have my visa yet. So it got moved to Monday (yesterday), but I didn't have my visa yet. So it got moved to Wednesday (tomorrow), but I don't have my visa yet. So it got moved to Friday, but I'm not sure if I'll have my visa by then, so it's getting moved to the weekend. It's driving me crazy.
Patience is so not my thing. I'd rather just not eat than wait in a long drive-thru line, and I'll pay twice as much to buy a book at Barnes and Noble just so I don't have to wait the four days for Amazon to ship it. When I make up my mind to do something, I go do it right then, and it's positively killing me that I'm at the mercy of an office full of grumpy secretaries to determine when I leave on my adventure. My family is delighted that my date keeps getting pushed back; they've seemed to enjoy having me around this last week, and they're not eager for it to end any time soon. I appreciate that, I really do, but I can only be "ready to leave" for so long before I start pacing trails in the living room. My bags have been packed for over a week, and I've been living out of my pile of donation clothes ever since. I'm sleeping in the extra bedroom, and every night I have another "I'm going to miss you"-style dinner with someone else who makes me cry. I love that I'm so loved, and I feel terrible complaining about having too many tearful goodbyes. But I'm emotionally exhausted, and just ready to goooo.
The longer I wait, the more freaked out I become. Last week, I was so excited for my adventure. I moved out of my apartment and into my parents' house, and I was just waiting for that last stamp to release me off into the great unknown. But now I've had an entire week at home to think about how my bank account is terrifyingly low, how I still don't know how to ask where the bathroom is, and how I don't know a thing about teaching first grade. Now that I'm leaving on Saturday instead of Friday, I'll be arriving Sunday afternoon, which gives me a whole fifteen hours to get settled in before my first week of teaching. This does not please me at all and there's nothing I can do about it. Well, I can whine to the interwebs. That's productive.
I suppose I really just wrote this post for my future self. One day, I'll look back on this post and chuckle at how worried I get over things outside my control. A month from now, my departure date will hardly matter at all, but right now, it feels like it's the most important thing in the world. Can I make a new-life resolution for my year in Korea? I think so. I'm going to stop worrying about things I can't control and start just enjoying today. Someone remind me of this in two weeks when I'm stressed out about something laughably insignificant again.