Saturday, August 28, 2010
Twenty-four hours until take-off
I've stopped posting facebook status updates about Korea because I'm starting to think I might be getting on people's nerves. I know that's silly; if people don't want to hear about my life, they can always hide me on newsfeed. But it just seems like overkill to post "Nikki is terrified" every few hours.
So instead, I'll write a blog post.
I'm getting very scared. This whole adventure was starting to feel like a silly game you play in your back yard, yet instead of being Indian witch doctors under the weeping willow tree, I was a girl who pretended she was actually strong enough for a move to Asia. I packed up all my bags, said all my goodbyes... but I think I'm ready for the game to be over. It was hilarious while it lasted!
I told my mom last night that I really want to have the stories from Korea, but I don't quite want to start the adventure. I just want to have done it. She told me I should just back out and make up some stories, and let me tell you, that sounds pretty appealing right now. If I'm nervous now, I can't imagine how bad I'm going to be tomorrow at this time, when I'm sitting in the Cincinnati airport, having said goodbye to my family for the last time for a whole year. Maybe one day I'll look back on this experience and wonder what all the fuss was about. After all, it's just one year (I've already been alive for two dozen others), and it's just another city. The people I meet there are just people, and the job I'll have is just a job. I certainly hope that fun and exciting things happen in Korea - in fact, I'm kind of counting on it - but when you really break it down, it's just regular old life. I'm still going to be plain ol' Nikki Raasch, the girl who giggles at all the wrong times and is always, always cold. Even on the other side of the world, I'll still just be me, and I know me. That's one person in Korea I'm positive I'll get along with.
I hope I don't spend the whole day today worrying about tomorrow (wow, I don't think I've ever had a more applicable situation for that verse). Tomorrow will surely worry about itself, and I'm going to miss all the fun memory-making that could occur today if I waste it all away being anxious about tomorrow's flight. It's a new adventure, one that I willingly signed up for, and one that I'm very excited to embark upon. But for now, I'm going to go sit on the couch with my family, and soak in this life as much as I can before everything gets turned on its head.